Accountability..

Some things have recently been brought to my attention. I am mainly talking about my sarcasm and my lack of reading my Bible- also being an example to those who look up to me. I am posting this on this blog, and therefore Facebook also, so that you may all be my accountability partners. I have a couple of accountability friends in the "real" world, but I would like you all to be my web accountability partners. If I say something sarcastic that is hurtful, I need you to speak up. I may get upset, but I need to do this, and I cannot do it alone. God will help me, and I need you to help me too. If you know me at all, you know I do not normally ask for help. This is something that is important to me. I also want to apologize for hurting anyone's feelings with my sarcasm. I know it is sharp, and I am sure it has cut through somebody at some point, and for that I am truly sorry. I never meant to do that, I hope you believe me.

Another thing I need to work on is getting AND staying in God's Word. I bought a new Bible tonight, one that is compact enough I can take it with me wherever I go- which lately has been happening all of the time. But besides carrying it, I want you guys to make me accountable for making sure I have spent some time in His Word each day. I know this burden falls on me, but if you think about it, ASK if I have been in the Word. I pray and earnestly believe that God will help me with this one, as it is going to be even tougher than the sarcasm request. But God can do ANYTHING, and that is what I love about Him.

A third thing I need to work on is being a positive role model for the youth and other's who may look up to me. I have a temper, and it easily shows. I know I cannot control it on my own. That is a given. But God is good, and He will help me control my temper, even if it means sealing my mouth so nothing comes out of it. I also want to be a good witness to the teens. A couple of my friends and I talked tonight, for quite a while, about people who look up to us. It is very important that we are positive role models for them.

Of course, there are many other things that need worked on. These are the top 3 that I felt convicted about tonight. They may not have been directed towards me, and I was told they were not, but it sure felt like I was the one under the microscope tonight. So, this is what I ask of you. Ask me questions. Inquire into my life. I cannot do this on my own, and God helps, but I need an earthly set of accountability partners. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

PS- Thanks for the hugs guys-- you don't know how much they mean to me.. :) and the fact that I can call you not only friends, but brothers and sisters in Christ is much more than I could ever imagine.. You know who you are.. and I love all of you..

Family..

So obviously this is not my whole family. That probably wouldn't fit in a post very well. This is the next generation of my family however. My neices, my nephews, and my baby cousin- who also calls me aunt lissa because everyone else does. I love these kids. They may talk back, disobey, disrespect, or be otherwise crazy, but what kids DON'T do that? They are learning, and the older ones are helping the younger ones learn this valuable lesson. Families are supposed to be like that. The older generation should be teaching the younger generation how to act and how to become better people. These children will grow up to be wonderful members of society. They may act out, but we have fun together. And I wouldn't trade any of my memories of time with them for anything in the entire world.

Exciting..

So this week has been/will be a doozy for me. Monday wasn't too bad. I had work and then went and hung out at my mom and dad's house. Today, Tuesday, I had work, class, then came home and played on the computer, which I am finishing up now so I can go to sleep. :) Tomorrow, Wednesday, I have work, church, and dinner at the Olive Garden with some friends. It should be a fun time. Thursday, I have work and class again. Friday, I have work and then I am baking with the youth at church for a benefit on Saturday for a child from Decatur who has had a cancer relapse. Info on that benefit is at helpcarson.org. Saturday is my oh-my-gosh-I-am-losing-my-head day. From 8:30am until 10:30 or 11:00am I am helping with Angel Food- a fun activity I do once a month where we take food orders and pass out the food people ordered from the month before. From 12-2 I am helping the youth deliver the baked goods from Friday night to Our Lady of Lourdes Church, where the benefit for Carson is being held. After that, I will return home for a short 2 hour nap or so, if I don't find something better to do with those 2 hours. Around 5 or 6pm, I am supposed to go babysit my kiddies. We have a blast- and will until the wee hours of the morning, as I am supposed to babysit them for quite a while. It will be fun. Of course, Sunday will be AM church and Sunday School and PM youth group, with a maybe nap thrown in there depending on any meetings I may have to attend. So, if you comment me or email me or in any other way try to contact me this week, do not feel ignored. I am simply busy. If you contact me on Facebook you have the best option for catching me since I check that like 20 times a day. (Yes it is an addiction. No I do not want help for it, thanks. lol) Have a great first full week of spring and last full week of March. (I can't believe it's almost April either!!!)

Attitudes..

Mine stunk today. I decided last week to ask God for his help with my attitude at work, and I was actually calm and patient at work last week. This week, I was in my mood yesterday, and did not ask God for anything but to help my mood go away. Praise God, the mood went away, for the most part. However, work was close to miserable today. There was so much drama and crap going on, that I could have pulled my hair out. Then we had a new kid start, and she is a really good little girl, but she got scared when Max started crying really hard. And then they all started crying. It was horrible, and I know it wasn't them being horrible, but my attitude being horrible. So, if you could pray for me this week that I will keep praying for help in this area. It really helps when I pray for God's help with my attitude. As many people know, I can get mad very quickly. Our business manager at work once told me that she had never seen daggers fly out of someone's eyes so quickly, and that is not something I am proud of. I have a hard time hiding my anger if it comes on quickly. That is something I am working on. I found a verse that I have kept handy because I really like it and it helps keep me in check when it comes to my attitudes. It is found in Ephesians 4:31-32. It reads, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just ass in Christ God forgave you." (NIV) That verse has helped remind me that I need to watch myself. It is just a verse that I have come to cherish in my life. :)

BTW- My mood from yesterday is mostly gone. I am still a little down, but thank God it passed. Thanks to everyone who gave me encouragement. I love you guys too. :)

Blah..

It has been an excellent weekend. We had an awesome time with the youth at Living Sacrifice, I got to spend time with my two oldest neices, which doesn't happen very often, and church today was awesome, between Pastor Wes' sermon and youth group tonight. So if everything went so well this weekend, why do I feel so blah? It's like I am almost sad, but I am not sad. I am just ehh. I don't get ehh very often. I guess maybe everything that is going on, plus some personal stuff, is starting to get to me. I put on a good front, or at least try. But lately, it feels like if anyone says the wrong thing at the wrong moment, I am going to start crying- and if you know me, I HATE crying. Passionately hate it. Especially in front of people. I think part of my problem lately is feeling like I don't belong. I feel like I am on the outside looking in, and trying to get in, but not quite making it. I also feel like everything is slipping away, and I don't know what is slipping away. Friendships, work things, church things. It feels like everything is slipping out of my hands. Maybe I just needed to write it down, and now I will feel better. Well, enough depressing thoughts for one night. Maybe I am just tired and need sleep. Hopefully that cures this mood.

Together..

This is one of my favorite pictures of my nephews. We were walking in the park and they decided to walk off of the path and check out what was over in that area. As much as they may fight or argue, now and in the future, they will forever be brothers and the memories they make together now will last them a lifetime.

A Song..

So, I have stuff to say, but not right now. I have had a song stuck in my head for a while. It is an excellent song and I highly recommend it. I love it's message, plus it has an awesome melody. :) This will commence this particular post, as the rest will be the lyrics of the song.

Savior, Please
by Josh Wilson

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all that I have

I try to be so tough But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Hallelujah Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

I try to be so tough But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Young Love..

This is one of my all time favorite pictures that I have taken in my classroom at work. B and T were attached to each other from the time she started again in August. They would hold hands, hug, and even, as this picture shows, kiss from time to time. This picture was taken on her last day in my class. She was moving up to the next class, and he, being the younger man, was left behind. He got to see her from time to time in the hallway, but overall he didn't see her much after this day. When he left the daycare and came back for a few days, she was all about him. She followed him around and they picked back up where they left off. Hopefully, they will both be back this fall so that they can play together again.

Busy..

As everyone knows, life can be crazy sometimes. This week was that for me, obviously since the last time I updated was last Sunday. Sorry about that. Every time I sat down to make a posting, I either couldn't think of anything, or told myself I would do it the next day because I was so tired. Not only did the time change occur last weekend, but we had a full moon two nights this week, which made my kids at work CrAzY. So, I am thankful that this week is over. Plus my assistant is on leave this week, and next, so I had to be to work earlier than usual. It is hard to believe, but 15 minutes makes a huge difference. A good thing for this week is that the latter part of the week was Spring Break from school. So I did not have to go to class last night. Hopefully we will get a few more days off come Easter. Other than that, this week has been too busy for anything too awful crazy to happen, at least so far. Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog on sarcasm- a subject I know all too much about. Lol. :D

Close-up..

Baby feet are so cute. Whether they are covered by socks or barefooted, babies have the cutest feet in the world. Adults- not so much. However, I like how the feet are in focus, yet you can still see the activity in the bacground, but out of focus. I basically posted this picture because I like it. It has to do with my kids, which makes it top notch to begin with. So here is to my baby feet. Hope you enjoy them!!

Unexpected..

I found out in church this morning that a pastor in a Baptist church south of us was shot and, later found out that he was killed. This is something that is never expected. It shocked us. It made us sad. We talked about it with the youth tonight and one of them brought up a very good point. Even though we are sad about his death, we should be rejoicing because he is with Jesus. We are sad because of his absence from his family and from his friends, but we can rejoice because he is with our Savior and Lord, having a good time. As Grant said, even though his body is no longer alive, he is alive and well and having a feast tonight with Jesus. This just made me think of people that I have lost, grandparents mostly. How many of them will I see again?

Other things in our lives can be unexpected also. My assistant at work is taking an extended leave to help with her mother. Her mother is elderly and frail and on top of having a bad heart, she just found out that she has aggressive breast cancer. I understand that she needs to go help with her mother, but I hope she takes some time for her. It is so easy to get run down because you are helping others and not taking care of yourself. So that is my prayer for her.

Unexpected things can also be good. When someone is trying to have a baby, an unexpected pregnancy can be a blessing. Unexpected tax returns are also a blessing, since it is tax season, that is something to think about. Unexpected days off of work or school can be wonderful. They have provided me with some great memories and opportunities to get things done or do things that I would not have otherwise been able to do if I was at work.

Unexpected things are a part of life- both good and bad. When a tragedy happens, as Christians, we can look to God for help. We can help our non-Christian friends look and seek for God in tragedies. When good things happen, we can also turn to Christ. Of course, more people tend to rely on themselves when good things happen, but we need to praise God in everything. Just something to think about.

Laughter..

This is my brother Michael. We play RockBand every few Saturday nights. Laughter is a big part of playing rockband- laughing at yourself, laughing at others, laughing at the game. This particular night, my brother, my sister-in-law, my sister, and I were playing rockband- 4 people, 4 instruments (guitar, bass, vocals, drums). My sister decided that she needed to go finish her homework, which was fine. However, we wanted to continue with the 4 instruments. Michael had commented on how his friend recently bought the rockband microphone so that he could play guitar and sing at the same time. Michael wanted to try this, so he laid on the couch and held the microphone with the hand he was pushing buttons on the guitar with. This lasted for one song. It didn't work very well. I, sarcastically, suggested to use a wire hanger because you could bend it to the position you wanted it. Well, we tried and it worked. And this photo is where we had gotten it fitted just right. We were cracking up. Laughing is great, and this photograph is a wonderful memory that I will treasure for a lifetime, because we were having a great time.

A Small Town..

My assistant and I had a conversation today about a small town versus a city when it comes to schooling. She went to school in Decatur, which, even though SOME people don't consider it a city because they come from a city the size of a small state, is a city and I went to school in Argenta. She graduated from Eisenhower which had classes the size of my entire school. I graduated in a class of 65- hers was around 300. My entire school had 350 kids. We were raised in very different ways. She hated school, while I tolerated school because I loved extracurricular activities and the life they brought me. I thrived on that stuff. I loved Homecoming. Almost everyone was involved, in the school and the town. The discussion we ended up having was whether a child would do better in a Decatur school or one of the surrounding districts. My thoughts are surrounding districts, but only certain ones. I would not put my child in Maroa-Forsyth because they were rivals of my school and even though I have been out going on 6 years, I still hold to that rivalry, as petty as that is. I would not put my child in Mt. Zion. While I know some people from Mt. Zion who are pretty nice, even the ones who were put through the district will admit their peers are somewhat snobbish, and I would not subject my kids to that. I would put my child in Warrensburg. While we still had that rivalry, that one was more of a friendly rivalry, being that they were not next door. I would put my child in Niantic-Harristown schools. I know a few of the faculty out there and would entrust my child to their care. I would, of course, put my child in Argenta. I am very familiar with it, obviously, and would love for my child to be a Bomber. Pam's thoughts were more along the Decatur line. She and her children were all products of Eisenhower. If I put my child in a Decatur high school, it would be Macarthur. I have heard too many horror stories about Eisenhower. If they went to a school in Decatur, I would also consider LSA or DCS, although money would have to factor into those schools since they are private. Overall, I appreciate that I went to school with the same group of people, give or take a few, from Kindergarten until I graduated. That was very nice and I want my child to have the same opportunity. Pam's take was that she appreciated meeting new people and being able to fade into the crowd, which was not an option in my school. Everyone knew pretty much who everyone else was. What are your opinions on this subject?

Nature..

This is a park that I visited in August of 2007. It is near Chicago, in or near the suburb of Worth. I went up to visit my aunt, who lives in Worth, and we went to her favorite park on the way into the city to take me to my train at Union Station. I took some pictures of the waterfall that ran into Lake Catherine. It was a Sunday and not too many people were mulling around. It was peaceful and the pictures I took turned out excellent. Enjoy.

Music..

Music is an important part of my life. I love music and always have. Nothing too exciting happened today in my life, with the exception that I turned in my resignation for Wednesday and Sunday nights in the preschool department at church. I feel like God is leading me to help with the youth, so I am following. But back to the subject at hand- music. I have always loved music. If I am having a bad day, the first thing I want to do when I get alone is to find a song that "understands" me. There are plenty of songs for any mood that anyone could possibly be feeling. There are love songs, I hate you songs, someone died songs, extremely happy songs, and everything in between. So I thought I would make a list of my favorite songs, and if they mean something to me, I will include that in parenthesis next to the song title.

The current songs that I listen to are:

• Mad by Ne-Yo (a friend of mine made me listen to this song a few times and now I listen to it.. often)
• Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy (same friend, same circumstance.. awesome vocals)
• I Told You So by Carrie Underwood (a cover of the Randy Travis song.. it is just as good as the original.. which I loved)
• Lose My Soul by TobyMac (never really listened to them until after WinterJam and now there are a few songs that I can't get enough of)
• A Better Way by DownHere (again hadn't really heard of them until the SYATP rally at the Lincoln and then really liked their vocals)
• Love is Not a Fight by Warren Barfield (off of the soundtrack of the movie Fireproof.. great movie and great song)
• Slow Fade by Casting Crowns (again off of Fireproof.. great lyrics)
• One Life to Love by 33 Miles (love almost everything by this group)
• Light On by David Cook (past American Idol.. again the vocals are great)
• Nine in the Afternoon by Panic at the Disco (rockband song.. we play it often and I listened to it for forever to learn the lyrics so I could sing it on rockband and actually know it)
• Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore (off of Music and Lyrics soundtrack.. awesome movie and these two actually sing really well)
• Stand in the Rain by Superchick (awesome)
• More Like Her by Miranda Lambert (i don't like much by her, but her ballads are good)

That is it for now. If I think of more I will add them underneath this. If you don't listen to music, I encourage you to listen to any of these songs and then look into whatever you like. There is no rap on this list, or classical. It is mainly pop, Christian, and country. That is what I like. So I guess that is my challenge to you. Find a few new songs that you like this week that speak to you. Good luck. :)

Dancing..

I love kids. This is obvious, as I have posted about it before. This little girl used to go to the daycare where I work. I watch her and her little brother, who also used to go to the daycare and they were both in my class at one time, once in a while on the weekends. We were playing around and the movie we were watching ended and the credits started rolling. Well she decided that she liked the music and hopped up on the chair and started dancing in her own little world. Well, I snapped this picture and I love this picture. So I thought I would share it all with you as yesterday's picture of the day. However, my blog post area was doing something funky and would lock up any time I tried to upload a picture, so this is today's first picture post. I will do another one later, probably after I get home from work and my meeting tonight- oh, and dinner after the meeting. :)

Contentment..

Contentment is something that I strive for. It is not a naturally occuring emotion that happens in my body. I am happy somedays, but honest contentment is hard to come by. I think it is more of a state of mind than an actual feeling. You have to know that you are okay with what is happening in your life right now and it be enough. I have a hard time being content, although with God's help, I can be. While there are many areas of my life that are up in the air and all over the map, to use a couple of cliche sayings, I want contentment to be my overall feeling. Too many things get to me too easily. So I am going to work hard and ask for God's help in being content with the life he has given me. I babysat last night. It was a blast. The children I watched used to be in my class at work. The older child I had in my 2 year old class when I first started at the daycare. The younger child I had in my current class from about July until December, when the children were pulled from the daycare. These kids had me cracking up. We truly had fun and the night ended well. Today was church. (Technically it still is because I have to go back tonight.) I was in the nursery for part of the morning and got to see my babies. They have gotten so big. I went to service for the second service and it was awesome as usual. Today was All on the Altar Sunday, which is where people make commitments to participate in a program we have called FAITH. In FAITH, groups of people basically go visit people who have visited the church and witness to them and let them know about Christ and our church. It is a wonderful program. Other than the usual stuff, life has been pretty good this week. I have almost been writing in this blog for a week, and while it hasn't been every night because of some random things that have happened this week, it's been fun. I don't know if I will keep up with the trying to do it every day thing because I honestly don't think I have that much to say every day- but I would like to try. So here is to being content with your life- whatever may happen.